Get them to say YES: Reluctant Relatives, Cold Calls, and DNA Testing

The presentation listing for the Madrona room.

I finally got up the nerve to apply to speak at the 2016 IAJGS (International Association of Jewish Genealogists) convention and was accepted.  I was in a fairly small room, but it was still standing room only.  I was introduced by the amazing Lara Diamond, who also wrote a bit about my talk on her blog at Lara's Genealogy: IAJGS 2016 Day 5.  A preliminary version of this talk was presented at a JGSMD meeting and was revised and expanded based on the questions people asked.

A small, but packed room with my first cousin 1x removed Estelle in the front row.

The first thing most people think of when interviewing in relatives is how many names, dates, or places that person can provide.  I try to turn that idea on its head.  What can I give THEM?  What stories can I share?  What photos can I provide that they might not have seen, or that might bring back good memories?  How can we become friends?  We all share things with people that we like.  If you give me a gift, I'm going to give you a gift in return -- the gift of friendship, memories, of wanting to help you and join you on that journey to discover our history.  This idea, connecting family and becoming a part of a larger group, is at the heart of my research.  This is what I hoped to convey in my talk.

I tried to turn this central philosophy and approach into a series of concrete techniques for reaching out to relatives, including those who are reluctant to meet with a stranger, and provide examples of research successes to inspire and encourage people to expand their research in new areas.

The lecture was really broken into three sections:

• "Relatives" 
• How do you contact them?
• How do you prepare for the meeting or interview?
• What role does documentation play?
• Why it's important to be an ethical researcher.
• "Cold Calls" 
• How do you find new people?
• How do you convince them to talk to you, a stranger?
• How do you build a relationship that will lead to even more relatives?
• DNA Testing
• What can DNA tell you?
• How do you ask someone to take a DNA test?  
• What are some examples that will get them interested in participating?

If you'd like to hear more, here is the video of my presentation:

If you have any problems with the video, this link will also take you there:
Get them to say yes presentation (IAJGS 2016)

Thoughts and comments are more than welcome!